Flexible Thinker: THE Power of ‘YES & BECAUSE'

‘Yes And Because’ means to acknowledge and build. The idea is that when communicating, you need to acknowledge what a person says (‘YES, I hear what you are saying BECAUSE of blah, blah AND here is where I am coming from.’).

Don’t Get Hung Up on the Words Saying ‘Yes’ does not mean you agree with the person. It simply means that you are acknowledging what they are saying.

Other phrases that can be used instead of yes are ‘I hear what you are saying’, ‘I see what you mean’, ‘I understand where you are coming from’. Because is a very key word because you use it to explain the person’s logic back to them. You cannot explain their logic back unless you are actively listening to what they are saying.

And is a way to adds your ideas to the other person’s or take them in a new direction while building on what they are saying.

One important thing to realize is that and is not but! ‘But’ negates what you said and tells the other person you have not listened to what they have said.

Also, ‘however’ is just a nice form of ‘but’. Listen to an argument. You will hear the word ‘but’ used repeatedly because nobody is listening to each other. Think about a sales person and, when you have raised an objection and they use the word ‘but….’, don’t you feel that the person has not heard or understood a word you have just said?

Why Use ‘Yes And Because’? Communication is the key to understanding! In order to understand, you need to listen. Listening is not just sitting there silently imaging yourself on a warm beach somewhere. It is understanding what the person is really saying.

‘Yes And Because’ is the way to do that. ‘Yes And Because’ is the perfect communication tool to both build ideas with another person. As a brainstorming tool, all you have to say is ‘Let’s Yes And Because everything that is said here for the next 10 minutes.’ By doing this, ideas flow and even crazy ideas can lead to great ones by building on the logic (and every idea has a logic) and then taking it into a different direction.

Even when you really don’t want to generate new ideas, ‘Yes And Because’ is an effective tool. It creates rapport with another person and helps them to understand your position because you are taking the time to listen and understand their position. ‘Yes And Because’ is the ultimate tool to influence another person without authority.

It is assertive communication because it shows the other person that you are listening and understand their position and then allowing you to tell them where you are coming from. Whenever you need to turn a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’, try ‘Yes And Because’ and you will be amazed with the results.

This is part of the Flexible Thinker workshop. For more information, contact Michael Rosenberg at mike@flexiblethinker.com.